Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Doctor's appointment tomorrow, hmmmmm

Okay, so I had my initial appointment with my new doctor in January.  She gave me reqisition forms for a bunch of tests which I underwent last week.  The mammogram was weird and the blood tests were traumatic, I also had to do the pee on demand thing, woohoo.  Anyway, the results are in and I have an appointment tomorrow.  I'm not worried about the results but I am curious.  When I watch shows like dr. Oz they talk about things like cholesterol numbers and stuff, so now I will know what mine are.  I have confidence that my numbers will be fine, but I still want to know what they are.

What I am really interested in is her take on my insanity.  I told her before that I do not want any drugs but now I am rethinking that.  What if there is something that can normalize me?  Wouldn't it behoove me to take such a drug?  Will my life be better?  Will I get a handle on my lack of focus etc?  I really want to know.  This is pretty much the first time that I have ever been honest (any dishonesty is only by ommission)with a doctor.  I know that I am currently physically healthy and any health concerns that I have are the consequences of the stuff that I am doing to self medicate.  Does that make sense?

Every tme that I have sought treatment or help in any way pretty much nothing has been done.  I know that Asperger's is a condition for which there is no cure but wouldn't it be nice to be able to relax once in a while?  Perhaps without having to drink myself into oblivion.  I've been diagnosed and medicated for depression many times, but I am not depressed, I'm exhausted!  And antidepressants make me feel like I'm slow, wrapped in cotton and very boring.  Is that the trade off that I have to make?

I really hope that she has some concrete answers for me, I don't know how much more my liver can take.

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